Cry No More Christmas Cracker
This year's show will feature a number of support acts including Dolly Parton, Bjork, Coldplay, Fatboy Slim and The Brian Rizla Experience. The half time bingo session will be great fun as usual and the raffle prizes are better than ever, including a cruet set, three bottles of vinegar, doilies and a stuffed bear, as well as the hat with a side pocket. Unfortunately, Betty Winstanley, who became a great-grandmother this year, congratulations Betty, will be unable to perform her much loved pole dancing routine due to advancing arthritis. Shame. I've had a number of emails asking why, as it's such a tremendous night out, we don't increase the admission charge. The reason is quite simple, we're not just international showbiz celebrities, we care.
Santa Claus, Santa Claus
A weirdo with a beard
He comes down people's chimneys
He's sick and rightly feared